Want to Know If He’s Just Playing the Field? Here’s 20 Signs He’s Serious About You

Ready to discover if he's serious about you?

Ready to discover if he’s serious about you?

There is a time to date around and play the field, but at some point, most people want to find a committed life partner.

It can be devastating to learn that you’ve been devoting time to a relationship that isn’t quite equitable.

So how do you know that your partner is serious about you?

We’ve compiled some information about committed relationships as well as a quiz/checklist that you can use to determine whether your relationship is meant to last.

Updated 2/9/2020

What Is A Committed Relationship?

Different cultures have distinct relationships standards.

Experts say that the “hookup culture” of young adulthood is a reflection of evolutionary and social forces. From the social perspective, popular media offers thousands of representations of acceptable dating behavior, which may include casual sex. From an evolutionary perspective, people are competing for potential mates.

However popular no-strings-attached relationships may be, at some point most people want to settle down. Being in a committed relationship brings trust and a certain level of comfort. You don’t always have the energy to continue dating, and when you connect with someone who meets your physical and emotional needs, fireworks may go off.

A committed relationship is a “serious and lasting romantic relationship with someone.” It doesn’t have to involve marriage, but it usually does implicate monogamy.

When Does A Casual Romance Become Serious?

A casual romance usually becomes serious when you make some form of agreement with your partner. You may start hanging out together more often. You might stop dating other people.

At some point, you probably have a discussion about where you want the relationship to go. However, there are gray areas.

Just because your partner isn’t dating anyone else doesn’t mean that he wouldn’t if the opportunity presented itself. Commitment doesn’t ensure that your partner will be faithful, but it usually implies a level of trust that both people will respect the other person’s expectations. Unless you agree to have an open relationship, this usually means that you’ll date each other exclusively.

There are some steps that you can take to turn a fling into a serious relationship, especially when you’re participating in online dating. These include:

  • Being open to the possibility of rejection
  • Considering what you want out of the relationship
  • Being honest about your feelings of wanting more

In the best-case scenario, you decide that you do, in fact, want to spend time with your partner. You want to meet his family, be there for him when he needs you and potentially start a life together. You share these thoughts with him, and he reciprocates.

In the worst-case scenario, the guy tells you that he wants to take it slow, continue to date other people or avoid getting serious. That doesn’t necessarily mean that a committed relationship is out of the question, but it indicates that he’s not ready to settle down with you just now.

You probably want get an idea of whether he’s serious or just playing before you pour your heart out, though. Keep reading to find out how to get a sense of whether he wants to commit to you or not.

3 Ways To Know If A Man Wants A Serious Relationship With You

Trying to decipher your man’s signals can help you know whether he wants to get serious.

Are there signs that he might want to be with you forever? If so, you might want to take the leap.

You can also talk to his loved ones to get a glimpse of how he feels about you. If you’re still not sure, seek external advice from someone who is practiced at reading the messages from the universe.

1) 20 Signs He May Want A Real Future With You

1. He Makes Plans For The Future

Someone who wants to spend his life with you will talk about the future.

If he’s hesitant to talk about a joint vacation in six months or doesn’t bat an eyelash when you talk about renewing your lease so that you can live alone again next year, you might want to keep reading for other signs of his readiness. Men who make excuses when it comes to making long-term plans might not be ready to take things to the next level.

2. He Misses You When He Doesn’t See You

Someone who expresses that they’re lonely when you’re not around likely wants you in their life more often.

You don’t have to go away on a long trip to evoke longing. Someone who is ready to get serious will miss you when you’re at work and when you spend a few days apart.

3. He Travels To Be With You

If you are in a long distance relationship, or LDR, it can be harder to tell whether you should become more serious.

If he takes every opportunity to be with you, even if it means driving ten hours to spend the day together, he might want to get closer.

4. He Makes An Effort To Apologize

If your partner is in the relationship for the long haul, he will be ready for some give and take.

A solid significant other is also respectful of your feelings. This means that he says that he’s sorry when he does something wrong without you having to beg for the apology.

An individual that doesn’t want to let you go will do what it takes to keep you around, even if that means groveling.

5. He Invites You To Family Events

If your guy takes you to important social events, it's a serious sign he's right for you.

If your guy takes you to important social events, it’s a good sign he wants you in his life for more than just fun.

The man of your dreams should want to include you in different areas of his life.

He’ll want you to meet his family and go to social events with him.

If your significant other is completely loving and devoted when you’re alone, that’s great. But if he doesn’t incorporate you into his personal life, he might not be ready to commit. On the other hand, if it feels like your social and family lives are merging together, that’s a good indicator that he’s in the relationship for the long haul.

6. He Admires People Who Are In Love

Does your boyfriend ever point out people who look adorably in love?

If he appreciates people who are in committed relationships, it might be time to talk to him about solidifying yours.

7. He Talks About Your Future Children

Has your partner discussed plans for a family?

It’s a good sign if he sneaks in conversations about the children that the two of you might have together.

8. He Asks For Your Advice

Respect and admiration are important in a relationship.

Men who aren’t interested in your opinions or advice might be too independent to form a partnership at the moment. Conversely, a significant other who trusts you enough to show vulnerability and appreciates your guidance may want you to stick around.

9. He Has Never Cheated On You

This is tricky because you both may have seen other people if you have been casually dated.

However, if you have made agreements about exclusivity and he has broken those agreements, he might need more time to sow his oats. Honestly, someone who isn’t true to his promises might never be commitment material.

10. He Discusses Finances With You

Someone who plans to have a future with you will be interested in cooperating when it comes to spending money.

If you’re making purchases together, that’s an even stronger sign that he sees you in his life down the road.

11. His Friends Follow You On Social Media

Guys usually don’t invest time in women who their friends are casually dating.

But they may want to know more about you if they know that your boyfriend is talking about spending more time with you in the future. Consider it a good sign if you get friend requests from your boyfriend’s buddies.

12. He Takes Care Of You When You’re Sick

If your guy sees you just as someone to have fun with, he’ll run when you’re sick or upset.

A man who takes care of you when you’re under the weather is showing you that he’s interested in more than your looks or your partying skills.

13. He Gave You His Key

Do you have the key to your guy’s apartment?

That probably means that he trusts you enough to let you show up unannounced. Plus, it indicates that he wouldn’t mind spending more time with you.

14. You Don’t Wonder When He’ll Call Or Text

If you’re on the brink of getting serious, you don’t have to play games. Neither does he.

Your love interest is likely to see you as a more permanent fixture in his life if you’re part of his regular calling and texting schedule. Someone who realizes your value won’t hesitate to touch base with you consistently. If he’s still playing games, he may not be mature enough to get serious.

15. He’s Not Afraid To Share His Feelings

A man who tells you what he is thinking is apt to be up front when it comes to expressing his ideas about where the relationship should go.

Therefore, if your guy is truly honest, you might not have to wonder whether he is serious about you; he has probably already told you.

That said, some people have more trouble expressing his thoughts about the subject than others. If he is open about a lot of other things, though, you might just want to come out and ask him if he wants to be in an exclusive, committed relationship.

16. He Doesn’t Keep In Touch With His Exes

Some people have great relationships with their exes, and that’s completely normal.

People keep in touch with their exes for security, civility, practical reasons and unresolved attraction. If your guy doesn’t need to be BFFs with his exes, that could indicate that he feels secure in your relationship and he’s attracted to you more than anyone else.

17. He Keeps You In The Loop

Someone who tells you all about their day doesn’t have anything to hide.

If he keeps you updated with details about his whereabouts and other seemingly trivial matters, he knows that you find it important. He wouldn’t do that with someone he was casually dating.

18. You Keep Getting More Passionate About Each Other

If the passion between you two continues to grow, your man may be thinking about being with you for the long haul.

If the passion between you two continues to grow, your man may be thinking about being with you for the long haul.

Chemistry in a relationship may ebb and flow, but if you’re physical relationship keeps improving, it’s a good sign that it’s more than infatuation.

19. He’s Willing To Compromise

Someone who only thinks about themselves isn’t marriage material.

If he is open to give and take, he’ll probably be amenable when you tell him that you want to take the relationship to the next level.

20. He Shares His Things With You

If he wasn’t planning to see you again, he wouldn’t lend you his favorite shirt.

When your personal property regularly passes back and forth from your place to his, you can assume that he wants to stay with you for a while.

2) Have A Heartfelt Conversation With His Parents

Sometimes, friends and family members may have a lot to say about someone who keeps quiet about his personal life.

If you have already established a relationship with your boyfriend’s loved ones, you might want to turn to them for advice. If your man makes a point of keeping you away from the people with whom he is close, however, you might want to rethink whether he is serious about you.

3) Get Advice From Someone Who Cares

Sometimes, getting guidance from an objective observer is the best way to make decisions about your relationship.

I’m not talking about your close friends, who may or may not see what you and your partner go through on a day-to-day basis. Someone who can read the signs that you may not be aware of can come in handy when you’re looking for love advice, though.

Every time you have a thought or take a certain action, you send energy into the universe. At the same time, energy waves are flowing through you, working with you to create the life that you want.

A love psychic can pick up on these frequencies and translate them into a form that you can understand. This can help you when you’re facing obstacles or confusion in your life.

The thing is, you have the power to notice these messages. However, most people are taught to squelch their intuition at an early age and go through life listening to their conscious mind while ignoring the information that comes from their subconscious or higher self.

Psychics can tune into this data, bringing you clarity. They can also access the energies that come from your mate, providing insight into your partner’s emotions and state of being.

You may find that when a psychic elucidates what’s going on, you have the sense that it was something you already knew deep down. Working with someone who is energetically gifted can help you connect with that part of you so that you move through life being able to interpret the signs that are all around you. This can help you listen to your inner voice.

Even though you might not realize it, you probably already know what needs to be done in your relationship. Chatting with one of the best love psychics online can give you the confidence to move forward.