Making the choice to stay with someone who has cheated is a big decision.
It requires dedication and loyalty, but also a willingness to grow as a person.
Of course, you should expect the same commitment from your partner.
But odds are, no matter how well the relationship seems to recover, you’ll find that you keep asking yourself, will he cheat again?
It’s all too common in relationships for one partner or the other to worry about their partner being unfaithful.
But it is harder when your partner has a history of infidelity.
So how can you tell whether he’ll cheat again? What should you do if you suspect that he’s cheating?
Fortunately, there are ways you can find out exactly what’s happening and take action.
– Updated 10/17/2019
Table of Contents
- 1 Is the Saying “Once a Cheater Always a Cheater” True?
- 2 What Causes Serial Cheating?
- 3 Shedding Light on the Percentage of Men Who Are Habitual Cheaters
- 4 Is it Possible for Him to Change His Ways and Be Faithful to You?
- 5 Will He Cheat Again? 3 Ways to Know if You Can Trust Him
- 6 1) Read His Signals: 5 Signs Your Boyfriend or Husband May Betray Your Trust Again
- 7 2) Have a Heart-to-Heart Talk With His Friends and Family
- 8 3) Get Answers from an Empathetic Soul
Is the Saying “Once a Cheater Always a Cheater” True?
In short, it’s not always true that someone who cheats once will continue to cheat.
Of course, every situation is different and so is every individual. Which is why it’s so hard to stay with someone who has cheated and believe that they are motivated to change.
After getting caught, some cheaters become repentant and truly change their ways. But plenty of others keep moving along the same path. A combination of factors lead to future infidelity, including a history of it, so there are warning signs to look out for.
Other factors that contribute to a person’s tendency to cheat include:
- Age and maturity: A person may cheat when they are young because they lack the ability to understand others’ emotions and the effects their actions have. Immature people who are older can also be susceptible to this type of emotional ignorance.
- Status of the relationship: Someone who is married may be more willing to work things out and stay in their marriage than someone who felt like they were casually dating a partner. There are exceptions to every rule of course, but in general, the more invested someone is in their relationship, the more likely they are to try and change to save it.
- Internal pressures: If there is a lot of pressure within the relationship, such as to make a long-term commitment or to try for a baby, some people are more susceptible to cheating. It may be an innate fear of commitment or expectations for them, or it could be that they’re subconsciously trying to create distance in the relationship.
Whether or not your guy will make the saying “once a cheater always a cheater” true depends on a variety of factors, plus his personality and beliefs. That’s why it’s important to pay attention to more than just your partner’s word when it comes to recovering from infidelity.
What Causes Serial Cheating?
Though not every person who cheats will become someone who perpetuates the cycle, it is possible.
And now, science has a few explanations for why people who cheat once are likely to cheat again.
One reason why people who cheat once may keep doing it is that they feel less guilty each time. Researchers call it “adaptation to dishonesty,” and it means that your brain “learns” over time to feel less guilt for doing “bad” things.
Someone who cheats may feel guilty the first time, but then they allow it to happen again. The second time around, they feel less guilt than the first time. The more the behavior continues, the more immune the person becomes to feeling bad about it, so the more likely they are to keep on keeping on.
Another reason why people become serial cheaters is that they lack the necessary emotional response to stop them from doing it. The bottom line is, either people become adapted to the guilt, or they never experience it in the first place.
Unfortunately, if you’re dealing with the “sociopath” version of a serial cheater, there’s not usually much you can do to salvage the relationship. Of course, it’s not always easy to tell whether someone is a serial cheater or has just made one or two bad decisions that they don’t want to repeat.
Shedding Light on the Percentage of Men Who Are Habitual Cheaters
When it comes to marriage, at least one third involve cheating by one or both partners.
But in relationships overall, male infidelity statistics are higher than that of women. In fact, 22 percent of men admit to cheating on a significant other, in comparison with 14 percent of women.
Beyond these figures, it’s possible some people are dishonest about the status of their fidelity. After all, no one wants to be labeled a cheater. But cheating in general is apparently more common than any of us would like to acknowledge.
Still, things also change as people age. For example, younger unmarried women between the ages of 18 and 29 are more likely to cheat on their partners than their male counterparts. However, the older men get, the more likely they are to cheat in comparison with older women.
Also, certain demographics are more likely than others to be unfaithful. Factors such as growing up in a broken home, a lack of interest in religion, and some political beliefs can significantly impact a person’s statistical odds of being a cheater.
Is it Possible for Him to Change His Ways and Be Faithful to You?
The main question you likely have about your partner is whether he’s capable of changing his cheating ways.
You’re probably hoping that he’ll turn things around and be faithful to you, but it’s hard to know for sure. No matter how repentant he seems, he could still wind up breaking your heart again.
From deciphering his behavior to seeking outside help, here are three strategies to help you figure out if he’s for real.
Will He Cheat Again? 3 Ways to Know if You Can Trust Him
No matter how well you think you know your boyfriend or husband, it’s common to wonder if he’ll ever cheat again.
Here are three ways to figure out whether you can trust him to remain faithful this time around.
1) Read His Signals: 5 Signs Your Boyfriend or Husband May Betray Your Trust Again
If you take him back, you might think that your boyfriend or husband will completely dedicate himself to earning your trust back.
But this depends on his personality, his level of commitment, and a ton of other influences both within and outside the relationship.
Therefore, you’ll have to take note of your partner’s behavior and unconscious signals when it comes to figuring out whether he’ll betray your trust again. Here are five signs that he may not be as faithful as he claims in the future.
1. Inconsistency in the Relationship
Maybe one day your man is hot and another he’s cold when it comes to showing affection or being emotionally available. This kind of inconsistency can indicate that he might betray you again because it suggests that he’s not fully invested in making things right.
In contrast, someone who’s trustworthy will always show their true face instead of keeping you guessing. If your guy seems two-faced, it could be because he’s trying to maintain two separate identities, and potentially two separate partners.
2. There’s a Lack of Compassion
When a partner cheats, it can cause a deep rift in the relationship.
For some women, it can take a long time to recover from that kind of betrayal. But if your partner wants you to just get over it and move on, that could mean they’re not quite willing to give up their selfish ways.
A boyfriend who doesn’t want to talk about how to repair the relationship or who insists that the past is in the past isn’t moving toward a healthier future. Rather than talk about what’s occurred and reassure his lady, he’s focused on self-preservation. Keep an eye out for this lack of compassion, since it could mean he’s still only thinking of himself.
3. He Doesn’t Respect Boundaries
Maybe you had a heart to heart post-infidelity and came to an agreement on things.
Hopefully, your resolution includes some guidelines for the relationship that you both agree on. But if your partner doesn’t stick to those boundaries, that might mean he’s not on board with what you need to fix the relationship.
If you’ve established that he needs to let you know where he’s going and with whom, but he continues to ignore you while hanging with friends, that’s overstepping a boundary that you’ve established. Similarly, keeping close relationships with other women or going out alone may be another boundary you’re unwilling to let him cross.
Whatever your limits, his continuing to overstep them likely means he’s not planning on sticking around to work things out.
4. Lying, Even By Omission
Although you’ve had deep discussions about how the pair of you can recover from your partner’s cheating, you likely need time to rebuild trust.
Therefore, transparency is important when it comes to both feelings and actions.
But if your partner continues to deceive you, even if only by leaving out small details, this can have a negative impact on your future together. After all, lying by omission is still lying, as even minute details can be an important part of the bigger picture.
A man who continues to lie or hide things isn’t on track toward rebuilding a healthy partnership. Rather, he’s prepping for covering up even bigger lies that could doom the relationship.
5. He’s Not Grateful for a Second Chance
Unfortunately, some guys who cheat don’t necessarily feel guilty about their actions.
They may even think their behavior is warranted because of something you’ve done—or something you haven’t done.
Often, men who feel like their needs are not being met in a relationship feel justified in seeking a connection elsewhere. And while this isn’t healthy or respectful, it’s a common excuse that guys use for cheating.
That’s why a lack of gratefulness for a second chance is another indicator of someone who may betray you again. If your partner isn’t thankful for the opportunity to work things out and prove himself to you, he might lack any feeling of regret.
And while he shouldn’t necessarily feel guilty forever, he should show enough remorse for his actions that he expresses gratitude for your willingness to take him back.
2) Have a Heart-to-Heart Talk With His Friends and Family
While it’s not advisable to confess every sordid detail of your partner’s affair to his family and friends, checking in with them could help your relationship recover.
After all, it’s likely that your man’s family and others close to him know more about his personality than you do.
Especially if your relationship is relatively new compared to his long-standing friendships, you might learn valuable information from your guy’s inner circle. If he has a reputation for having a wandering heart, you’ll likely find out fast when his friends keep forgetting your name or don’t seem to invest much energy in getting to know you.
Checking in with your boyfriend or husband’s family may also shed light on his chances of re-offending. Understanding his background and family dynamics may reveal critical information about how he processes conflict, cares for relationships, and deals with communication.
3) Get Answers from an Empathetic Soul
The final method of figuring out whether you can trust your partner is to speak with someone knowledgeable.
While many parts of your relationship may feel intuitive, it can help to get another person’s perspective. It may also help if that person has an unbiased perspective and unique insight into your situation.
Visiting or chatting online with a love psychic can help you come to terms with a cheating situation and determine your path moving forward. A psychic will work with you to develop a love reading that reflects where you’re at in the relationship and may provide direction on what to do next.
Because so much of the psychic reading experience depends on your feelings and connectivity, getting advice from an empathetic soul can help you heal and move forward.
And while you may wind up hearing things that you would rather not know, there’s always a sense of relief that comes with finding out the truth. Of course, it’s better to live your life (and experience relationships) without the threat of painful secrets and past negativity haunting you.
Keep in mind, though, that to get an honest and accurate reading, you should avoid trying to control the session. Instead, let the psychic guide your session and give the messages you need to hear. After all, that’s why you are visiting them!
It could be painful to work through, but in the end, you’re the only person who can truly determine whether infidelity is something you can work through.
Regardless of your partner’s attitude toward repairing the relationship, you must acknowledge your own strengths and weaknesses when it comes to recovering from betrayal.
While not every guy will deserve a second (or subsequent) chance, the decision is ultimately in your hands.
Fortunately, paying close attention to your feelings, your partner’s behavior, and your psychic’s advice, you can make the decision that’s best and healthiest for you. See our review of the best love psychics.