There is a fallacy in most modern cultures.
It’s an idealistic notion that there is only one perfect “soul mate” out there for you.
That may be comforting if you’ve found someone with whom you truly connect, but that belief can leave you feeling lost after a divorce.
Finding love after divorce isn’t impossible.
In fact, it might be easier than ever to fall head over heels with someone who is great for you after you’ve loved and lost.
After divorce, you’re better aware of what you need and what you don’t need, what works and what doesn’t.
With every birthday, you develop a clearer perspective about relationships.
You gain experience with time and every relationship that you go through. You’re not going to die alone.
– Updated 10/17/2019
Table of Contents
How To Discover New Love Following A Divorce
If you’re newly single, you might think that finding love after divorce is going to be difficult.
Your heart may be broken, which can blind you and prevent you from seeing that you’re still a beautiful, lovable person.
You might even think that your age makes you less desirable than you were before you got married. Have you ever gone out with your girlfriends only to feel like men don’t flirt with you or look your way anymore? That may be because you haven’t been putting out the vibe.
While you were married, you were likely sending out energy that kept you in a bubble. If you weren’t looking for a man, you might not have been approached by men. It’s part of the law of attraction.
Now that you’re single, you might want to take a look at the signals that you’re sending out. If you’re closed off to a new relationship, you likely will get results that match those intentions. Falling head over heels at 50 or bumping into your soulmate at 40 isn’t impossible if you open yourself up to the possibility that it could happen.
Keep an open mind. Take a cold, hard look at deep-seated beliefs that may not be true and limit you in your quest for love. Use this time outside of a relationship to connect deeply with yourself so that you can elevate yourself to a level in which you’re ready to both give and receive love in a productive way.
10 Ways For Finding Love After Divorce That You Can Do Regardless of Age
1. Learn Something New
Your interests won’t divorce you. Concentrating on learning new things can awaken passions that will be with you for the rest of your life.
Plus, learning something new will spark a new routine and make you a more interesting partner. This is especially true if you have been in an especially stagnant relationship.
2. Have More Sex
You have primal needs, and they may not have been met while you were married. This is the time to remind yourself that you are desired and capable of desire.
3. Don’t Have Sex For A While
After you’ve gotten a taste of what’s out there, reconnected with your body and rediscovered your passion, try staying away from sex for a little while. Sometimes, physical intimacy confuses the situation and blinds you to what you really want from a partner.
Focus on yourself for a little while. While you do, explore your pleasure from a firsthand perspective. You’ll end up learning a lot that you can take out with you when you’re ready to get intimate with a partner again.
4. Work On Loving Yourself
When we rely on others for approval, we often neglect to accept ourselves. You might think that you’re not complete without your partner or that he made you feel beautiful.
That’s not true. To experience true intimacy with someone else, you need to understand how to get vulnerable with yourself.
You might also feel discouraged that your relationship failed. Instead of loving yourself less because you couldn’t keep up your marriage, consider what you can learn about loving yourself from that experience. Allowing yourself to be loved by others is precisely what helps us develop strong self-love.
5. Go On A Trip Alone
When you’re married, you have a designated partner for everything—eating, cleaning, sleeping, social functions, watching TV and traveling. After a divorce, it’s easy to feel uncomfortably alone.
Instead of sighing and going about your business with a vacant space next to you at all times, make a point of doing something solo. Schedule an amazing vacation, and make a vow to go alone.
When it’s your goal, you won’t feel so lonely. You might even meet some incredible people along the way.
6. Forget About “Your Type”
You might instantly be drawn to men who fall into a certain category. Maybe you feel a spark when you talk to a man with black hair and blue eyes. Perhaps you have a soft spot for poets.
If you restrict yourself to certain people, though, you might miss out on all of the amazing opportunities that are out there for you. This is the time to have a more open mindset when it comes to finding the perfect partner.
There are a few ways in which even the most open-minded person can become closed-minded when it comes to finding a new husband at 45, 35, 55 or 65. These include:
- Maintaining an inflexible schedule and avoiding dates because they’re outside of your routine.
- Following old-fashioned dating rules, such as thinking that someone has bad manners if they text you to ask you out on a date. (Get with the times!)
- Letting shame or taboo prevent you from experimenting in the bedroom.
It also helps to look at past relationships. Just because the last musician that you dated broke your heart doesn’t mean that you should avoid dating musicians in the future.
7. Tap Into Your Inner Child
It’s natural to feel serious about the idea of finding the perfect partner. However, if you go through life with such a solemn attitude, you might have trouble opening up to the spontaneity of new love.
Try doing some guided meditations to tune into what your inner child might want. Take advantage of activities that help you feel pleasure. Every day, make some time for play. This will help you roll with the punches and maintain a positive attitude as you get back into the dating world.
8. Take Your Time
There are no deadlines when it comes to love. It’s easy to think, “If I’m not dating again at 35, I’ll never meet the one.”
Some people find the perfect relationship early in life, and others don’t until their later years. Rushing it just because you want to be coupled up isn’t the way to find fulfillment.
9. Grieve The Divorce
You might have unfinished business, unexpressed emotions and lack of closure surrounding your divorce. If you never grieve that relationship, the baggage from it can seep into future relationships, undermining them before they begin.
10. Stay Positive
It’s easy to feel cynical if you felt hopeless about your marriage. That doesn’t mean that life is hopeless, though.
Examining the messages that you give yourself, such as, “No one will ever love me again,” or “Dating is too hard.” Rephrase them into positive sentences, such as “I can choose a healthy relationship” or “I’m grateful for this wide range of opportunities to find love.”
Pointers Specific To Your Age
When you’re in the middle of your life, you’re at a prime place to draw knowledge from past experiences.
The hard times that you’ve had have prepped you just as much as the good times.
When you were in your 20s, you might have looked at the world with wide, observing eyes. Every experience was new, and you stored it in your memory to use it later.
This is the time to draw from your experiences. This doesn’t mean pulling out all of your baggage and letting it seep into the present, but it may involve taking inventory of your life.
This is something that Hillary Rubin, Global Yoga Authority and leader of The Wellness Revolution, does regularly. Taking inventory of your life allows you to celebrate your successes and witness your hurdles. It might bring up painful parts of the past, but we have to acknowledge and accept raw emotions in order to release them.
You probably have plenty of data to pull from at this point in your life. It’s time to stop pushing down the vulnerability in an effort to squelch pain. That will only keep it around, and it will continue to rule your experiences.
If you’ve been divorced more than once or seem to fall for the same kind of guy over and over again (who isn’t exactly what you want), this is the best time to take inventory. Whatever you’ve suppressed is stuck in your unconscious, and it’s running your life even if you don’t know it.
Once you are aware of it, you usually don’t have to do much to heal it. Acknowledging all of yourself, including your darkest, most secret side, is usually all it takes to get the momentum of release going. This is also a great time to work with a therapist to fully release past hurts so that you can move forward down a more constructive path.
Does Everyone Find True Love After They Get Divorced?
When you were younger, you may not have known what love was. But then you found it.
Now you know what it feels like. That means that you can find that feeling again.
Odds Of Meeting That Special Someone
According to researchers, the odds of meeting your perfect person are 1 in 562.
The same experts found that you could improve those odds by doing things like striking up a conversation at the gym, going out for drinks after work and online dating.
In other words, the odds get better when you put yourself in a position to meet new people. They get worse when you become too picky about the qualities that your perfect partner should have.
Will It Happen For You, and If So, When?
Seniors between the ages of 65 and 74 have the best chance of finding love.
That doesn’t mean that you must wait until you’re retired to find the man of your dreams, though.
Many people don’t find a compatible partner because they’re so busy repeating the mistakes that have made them unsuccessful at finding the right person in the past. Instead of letting your baggage and limiting beliefs rule your love life, try some of the tips that we’ve included in this article.
If you open yourself up to the possibility, it’s hard to avoid finding love. As for when it will happen, that answer isn’t always clear. You might want to look to an expert for a better forecast.
Get Answers From Someone Who Cares
An online love psychic might be able to answer the question of if and when you’ll be finding love after divorce. They don’t exactly foretell the future with perfect certainty. Instead, they may see a variety of possibilities.
In other words, they see several potential outcomes. They also see many different challenges and celebrations.
Some of these options may seem more probable because they’re in line with your current reality. However, the fact is that you can adapt to any of the possibilities.
It can be comforting to know that the future holds love for you. It can be discouraging to find out that you’ll continue to have difficulty in love as time goes on.
A love and relationship psychic reading can give you an idea of the way that your life will unroll, but the future is not set in stone. They might not be able to accurately predict time frames because they can be altered by your behaviors. But the knowledge that you gain can give you more confidence as you make tough decisions and move through life’s journey.
You may be more prepared for the hurdles that come your way and find that you navigate them with ease instead of letting them stop you in your tracks. You might be more open to meeting new people at 30 if you know that one of them may end up as your lover. You may even become aware that someone who is already in your life has the potential to engage with you in a different way.
Knowing this can help you take the faster road to the outcome. It can also give you the assurance that you need to break through the barriers that have been holding you back.
However, the courage to make it through life is within you. No one else can give you the confidence that your own self-assurance brings you.
Love psychics can help you see yourself and your situation from a different perspective. If you’ve been sitting around wallowing in the fact that you’re lonely, they might be able to give you the insight into why this period of your life is meaningful.
Sometimes, a small shift can lead to a huge revelation and opening to love.