Will Your Marriage Last? – How to Know Whether You’ll Survive the Disillusionment or Are Doomed for Divorce

If you're wondering "Will my marriage last?" it could be a sign of things to come.

If you’re wondering “Will my marriage last?” it could be a sign of things to come.

Marriage is notorious for being both difficult and immensely rewarding.

However, while going through a rough patch, you may wonder will your marriage last.

While there is a range of issues that can affect your marriage, it’s hard to tell whether you and your partner can overcome them.

If you feel like the possibility of divorce is looming in your future, you likely feel that it’s critical to figure out where you’re heading.

After all, you want to be as prepared as possible if things take a turn for the worse.

Part of being confident in your marriage is recognizing whether it will last plus taking steps to repair the relationship before it’s too late.

So where to start?

First, learn what the signs of a healthy marriage are, then identify the challenges you have, and find out as much about the status of your love as possible.

Updated 2/9/2020

Marriage Bliss or Disillusionment and Divorce – The Importance of the Newlywed Years

You may not think that your newlywed years have much impact on the longevity of your marriage.

And while you may be busy navigating life together with your new partner, what happens in the first few years of your wedded bliss can impact your marriage more than you may realize.

Many newly married couples are still riding on the “honeymoon phase” high of the relationship. And of course, planning and enjoying a wedding and honeymoon is stressful, but enjoying the events can give you a rather rosy view of early marriage.

That said, the first two years after you tie the knot are the most critical concerning the long-term success of your union. According to one study, which followed married couples over 13 years, indicators of a couple’s happiness or unhappiness were present as early as the first two years post-vows.

Overall, holding positive feelings about one’s spouse early in the relationship is an indicator of marriage longevity. Conversely, feelings of “disillusionment” in the first year were an early indicator of marriage failure down the road. Maintaining loving feelings toward your spouse while dealing with new experiences and stress is critical for a positive relationship.

And while these indicators can hint at whether your marriage will last, the true predictor comes with how you handle such signs. Couples need to settle issues like how to handle money, designating who does which chores, making time for intimacy, understanding differences in beliefs, and establishing expectations.

The key is finding compromises and ways to work together when you find that you’re struggling. Of course, many couples have difficulty when trying to go it alone. In the end, seeking guidance outside the relationship could give you a heightened perspective on what you need to do to ensure a long and happy marriage.

How Many Years Does a Marriage Typically Last?

Although the optimistic answer is “forever,” the truth about how long a marriage typically lasts is less confidence-boosting.

And while the figures are obviously skewed due to unions that have already ended, statistics indicate that the average length of a marriage that ends in divorce is eight years.

Overall, roughly 41 percent of first marriages end in divorce, and the figures are even worse for those in their second or third marriages. It seems that second and subsequent marriages have an even higher tendency to end in divorce.

However, the thing to remember is that every person, and therefore every relationship, is different. Many first marriages last a lifetime, while some third marriages have the same staying power. You may already know an unlikely couple that has somehow made it work, despite the odds stacked against them.

Not surprisingly, what’s most influential when it comes to marriage statistics is each person’s personality and background. To that end, most first marriages that end in divorce occur when the wedded pair is around age 30. People age 20 to 24 make up the majority of divorcing couples, with around 36 percent falling into that age range.

Also, factors like having parents who remained married, waiting until you’re over the age of 25 to get hitched, and attending college can all lower your statistical odds of going through a divorce. However, those facts and figures may not help much if you’re in the throes of marriage woes that seem to overpower everything else in life.

Can a Marriage Endure After One Partner Has an Affair?

You might think that infidelity is the leading cause of divorce, but according to many experts, that’s not quite true.

There are many other reasons why partners head toward divorce, including marrying for the wrong reasons, decreased intimacy, and different life goals.

But what happens if one of the spouses cheats? After an affair, you might feel so broken down that you think divorce is the only option. And it’s true, anywhere from 20 to 40 percent of divorces are the product of an affair.

However, some sources suggest that around 31 percent of marriages last beyond an affair. That means plenty of women stay with partners who have cheated. At the same time, it doesn’t necessarily mean they go on to have to healthy marriages.

The keys to repairing a marriage after an affair include things like open communication, regenerating trust, and a desire to move forward in the relationship. Both partners have to recognize their faults and work together toward their future.

Whether or not your marriage survives an affair comes down to not only your willingness to work through the infidelity, but also your husband’s drive to reassure and recommit to you and the marriage.

3 Ways to Know If Your Marriage Will Last Forever

With the availability of so many studies that explore marriage and the ways we both thrive in and sabotage them, it’s easier than ever to recognize the signs of a failing marriage.

Here are three ways to know if your marriage will last forever—or at least longer than eight years!

1) 6 Factors That May Predict Marital Success

Whether you have control over them or not, many factors can influence how successful your marriage is. From your early childhood to your life choices, there are at least six factors that can help answer the question will your marriage last.

1. Marrying by Choice, Not Circumstance

Marrying due to mutual love and shared interests is always a key predictor for a healthy marriage. Marrying because you’re pregnant, are on the rebound, or feel like you’re running out of options will only doom your wedded bliss.

2. Positive Role Models

Having parents who were good models of functional and loving spouses is another factor that can predict how successful your own marriage will be. Similarly, having both parents exhibit positive psychological function is helpful toward modeling a good marriage.

3. Good Communication

You and your partner should be able to discuss work, money, children, your housing preferences, intimate aspects of your relationship, and more. Solid communication is a building block for every successful partnership, and it’s also an important predictor of a long-lasting marriage.

4. Realistic Expectations

If you have the expectation that your prince charming will spirit you off into a better life with no cares or stress, that’s not a realistic goal for a marriage. Maintaining a logical approach to marriage and its difficulties can help partners to realize there will be hard times, but they’re worth overcoming.

5. Taking Time to Grow

Studies indicate that the older you are when you marry, the better odds you have of sticking it out. Similarly, waiting to have children in your marriage is another factor that influences your partnership long-term. Waiting at least two years after tying the knot and planning a “wanted” child can have a positive effect on your marriage.

Communicating and growing together are positive signs that your marriage will last.

Communicating and growing together are positive signs that your marriage will last.

6. A Willingness to Work

A successful marriage involves compromise and teamwork, but there are limits to what you can “fix.” Acknowledging that you can repair at least 30 percent of problems, modify around 50 to 60 percent, and simply accept and cope with about 10 to 20 percent is a sign that your relationship may stand the test of time.

All told, however, these factors may not tell you everything you need to know about your marriage. Since every person is different and every scenario is unique, a few predictive factors may say less about your relationship than other details.

2) 7 Signs Your Marriage Won’t Stand the Test of Time

Of course, there are no guarantees that your marriage will suffer because of these seven signs.

There are always variations in patterns, so it’s possible things could change for the better despite these issues. But there is a way you can get more answers about your relationship and potentially fix things, whether that means going ahead with a divorce or seeking marital counseling.

1. You Look (Too Long) at Other Attractive People

There’s technically nothing wrong with looking at other people outside your marriage. After all, it’s only window shopping. But one study found that partners who looked at attractive people outside their relationships for mere milliseconds longer than their peers were more likely to cheat on their spouses.

2. You Struggle to Communicate

Communication is key in every relationship, including marriage. If a couple struggles to understand one another, or to open up in the first place, it will likely spell disaster for their marriage before long. The good news is, this doesn’t have to be a deal-breaker: seeking counseling or other couples services can help get the words (and feelings) flowing again.

3. You Rushed the Marriage

While studies indicate that living together before marriage can lead to a higher likelihood of divorce, there is something to be said for getting to know each other better before walking down the aisle. Couples who rush to the altar are often seeking marriage for reasons other than true compatibility and commitment.

4. The Intimacy Ends Abruptly

Being intimate with your partner is a key element of your relationship. Unfortunately, many married couples often let their sex lives go stale, especially as the years pass. Therefore, both partners are less likely to feel desired and may turn outside the marriage for that physical—and emotional—connection.

5. You Work on Your Career(s) Too Much

Whether it’s one partner or both who are pursuing a demanding career, focusing too much on work throws a marriage out of balance. Putting our work first, especially after having children, can leave one spouse feeling drained and unappreciated while the other pursues a life outside the relationship.

6. You Never Fight

While full-out screaming matches are not a necessity in any marriage, some arguments are bound to happen. And in fact, it’s healthier to have a bit of a row than it is to hold everything inside. Plus, a lack of arguments may also indicate apathy from one or both partners, a surefire sign that your marriage won’t last as it shows neither partner is fully invested.

7. There’s a Lack of Respect

Along with a mutual sharing of love, there has to be respect in a marriage or it just won’t work. And it’s about more than just being kind to your spouse; showing respect also happens through accommodating your partner’s needs for affection and intimacy. Not every person “loves” in the same way, so recognizing your partner’s needs is a crucial way of maintaining your connection.

3) Get Answers from a Professional Who Cares

Confused about how long your marriage will last? You can get answers from someone who cares.

Confused about how long your marriage will last? You can get answers from someone who cares.

If you’re unsure how to proceed but can sense that your marriage is on the rocks, it’s hard to know where to turn.

Whether your partner is noncommittal when it comes to marital therapy or you suspect adultery, there are endless trials that make navigating a relationship challenging.

Of course, it doesn’t have to end in divorce, but the power lies in your hands. You may also want to consult someone outside the relationship for unbiased advice on what’s happening and how to handle it.

Seeking out a relationship psychic reading can help you not only realize new things about your relationship but also help you come to terms with a tough situation. Often, the answers are already there; you just have to be open to finding them.

Chatting online or in person with a psychic can help you form a bigger picture of what’s happening in your life, how things are affecting you, and whether you should even put in the work to save your marriage.

Of course, every person’s love reading will be different, but a psychic will take the time to connect with and read you, delivering a customized reading based on your personality and life circumstances. And above all, you’re receiving advice from a professional who is invested in your wellbeing and the future of your marriage.

No psychic can be one hundred percent accurate all the time, but their abilities may help you learn more about your marriage and your spouse than you thought possible.

And who knows, the advice that you get could help you take action to save your marriage and reconnect with your partner.

Conversely, you may also find out things that may hurt you, but that will also help you to move on and get out of a bad marriage that’s not worth saving.