It’s been awhile since we heard anything from Bigfoot, right?
The Yeti, Abominable Snowman, Sasquatch – it seems like a lot of people lost interest in the whole thing right about the time a few years ago when that guy claimed to have a dead one in a fridge.
Updated 2/10/2020 – Remember that?
Nothing kills a good legend like the people who are so intent on proving it that they have to fake it.
But just because there are hoax perpetrators in the world doesn’t mean that the Bigfoot legend is untrue.
The Meat-Head of Sycamore Park in Simi Valley
The late great naturalist Jane Goodall stated that she believed there might be an undiscovered primate species living in the Pacific Northwest.
Enter the Meat-Head of Sycamore Park into the gloriously-established line of similar (and perhaps similarly believable) legends attached to the Bigfoot.
Visitors to this lovely park in the appropriately-named Simi Valley, California, often see this large fellow running around at night in the park.
Frequently, if those who see him are to be believed, he is accompanied by a flash of light, which usually heralds his disappearance.
The park has a lot of weird stuff going on, truth be told.
Floating apparitions abound according to stories, and there are even reputedly spots of grass where – if you step in them – you will appear to disappear.
But the most common tales surround the Meat-Head.
Friendly Apparition or Something Sinister?
“He’s exactly what the name implies,” says one college-age skateboarder who claims to have seen the Meat-Head.
“Most of his body is like a gorilla, but his head is just this huge muscle-looking thing.
“I saw him a couple of different times.
“The first time it freaked me out.
The second time,” he says, leaning in conspiratorially, “my bro and I scored some killer weed, and we smoked it out in that park.
“When the Meat-Head showed up that time, it was a totally different experience.”
In what way?
“I laughed my ass off, dude,” he says.
“And the Meat-Head guy?
He comes ambling over to where my bro and I are sitting, and just plops right down.”
I suppose you’re going to tell me that you shared a joint with him next?
“Puff, puff, pass, bro!” he says, and laughs.
“Nah, but really, he did actually sit there for a few minutes.
The next day, when I thought about it, I almost crapped myself thinking about how close it was.
“I mean, that thing could have killed us both without breaking a sweat.
“But at the time, it was pretty awesome, you know?”
Speculation as to the species of this Meat-Head runs the gamut.
According to most Simi Valley locals, it has a lot of the same features as a human, but the proportions are more like that of a gorilla.
“And it’s just so creepy and funny-looking,” the kid says.
“I mean, you want to be scared of a thing like that – and you probably should – but it’s hard to feel too scared when all you can do is try not to pee your pants laughing.
“I just hope I didn’t piss him off, and he’s gonna come murder me in my sleep some day or something.”